Emonaut~The Breastonance~ Episode 1

Wow, he really has no idea…

I’m sure this is something I’ll come to regret… or, would, except I already regret it.

I’m going to be doing a severely condensed recap of every episode… because I have no life, apparently.

Once upon a time, there was a happy boy named Jin, whose boyfriend best friend was named Kazuki. One day Jin was supposed to go into space with his family, including his little sister, who was bizarrely stacked for her age and kept looking at her bracelet that Jin gave her, since obviously Jin is a siscon. As the thing took off, little sister grabbed Jin’s arm, because she’s obviously a brocon. Unfortunately, some outer-space thing came and fucked the whole thing up, so I never got to see the hot sibcon action. Jin somehow survived the explosion of the shuttle, even though no one else did, and became emo – he lives with a new family that forgets he exists.

Cue bizarrely upbeat OP, complete with pictures of girls with big boobs embracing each other to make the yuri crowd tune in.

Ominous semi-political, semi-scientific babble – basically, something bad is out there, and some other thing that’s bad is farting around the city.

But a journalist is stalking Jin, so he needs to be emo now. Thankfully he gets on the school bus, where all the kids gossip about the accident he was in, which makes him more emo. He grips at the remains of his sister’s bracelet, but manages to resist cutting himself with them.

Weird scene with journalist and big-boobed science lady… blah blah, something… OH, HAY, SHOWER SCENE.

La la la, more pseudo-scientific-junk, this time involving something called a ‘Resonance’.

Jin emos as he watches a shuttle take off. Another booby girl stands mysteriously on top of a lighthouse.

Yuri bait drive in a car with Kazuki… he’s worried about his first time. No comment.

And now he’s naked! Kazuki then performs numerous sexual acts with his dragon, the beast/human-thing he’s partnered with for the latest project by Breastonance Home Entertainment. Kazuki gets arm-raped by tentacles from his dragon, and this makes him really happy. And totally turned me on.

Some purple-haired woman on a roof gets oral sex from some guy who is begging for his life, but twists her heel into his face because he’s into being dominated.

A beast then eats a woman and Vampire Princess Miyu saves the day and Jin stupidly walks up to it.

The journalist finds the chewed up woman, is shocked that she’s still alive, and doesn’t call an ambulance, as he’s just happy he got to see her boobies.

Jin gets knocked off of an upper-floor of a building by the monster and falls at what seems to be one meter per minute. Mysterious booby girl saves him after he passes out, but he revives and gets a superb view of her tatas.

The girl then beats up the beast, and dashes off into the night with Jin in her arms. The beast gets hit by a truck, doesn’t die, and a mysterious loli in a limo pulls up, annoyed that it got away.

The next morning, Jin wakes up to find that he has been raped by booby girl in his sleep the booby girl saved his life, and she introduces herself as Toa.

Thoughts:

I’ll just warn you that I doubt this’ll have a steady structure going forward, by which I mean I’m probably going to do every episode’s write-up in a different way, since it’d get boring otherwise, especially with a piece of crap like this.

It occurs to me that Toa reminds me very strongly of Birdy in appearance and approach to ass-kicking. This would make Jin Tsutomu.

Shortcut Character Profiles:

Jin

  • useless
  • emo
  • siscon

Toa

  • big boobs
  • uh… big boobs?

Kazuki

  • likes getting gang banged by tentacles

Purple-Haired Boob Woman

  • a dominatrix
  • likes getting oral while people beg for their life

Loli Girl

  • oujo-sama type
  • will be naked sometime soon

Ai

  • Jin’s little sister
  • dead
  • brocon

Journalist

  • pedophile
  • wants in Jin’s panties

Next episode: Everyone gets naked. And there’s fire. And fireproof crocodiles guns. And some other stuff.

This entry was posted in A Day Without Me, Emonaut~The Breastonance~ and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Emonaut~The Breastonance~ Episode 1

  1. omisyth says:

    Why for the love of all that’s good would you watch this show? Except for boobs. Such very disturbing boobies.

  2. bakaraptor says:

    Stop now, or I’ll end up watching this crap too.

  3. Yamcha says:

    Day’s going to have a field day with the not-so-ambiguously gay love triangle between Jin/Kazuki/Gio in the later eps.

  4. adaywithoutme says:

    @ omisyth – I’m pretty sure the boobs are the reason that people have nightmares.

    @ Baka-Raptor – Watch it – the boobs compel you!

    @ Yamcha – I’m really looking forward to that, except I know no one ends up making out, so I know I’ll be disappointed.

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