Pokemon: The Dating Sim

E3, baby.

I’m sitting here, and, not for the first time in recent vintage, I am sighing and lamenting that there are no dating sim elements in the Pokemon games. I keep telling myself that if I beat Jasmine in HeartGold, then I will be able to ask her out… even though I only know that the game is going to be sorely disappointing on that front.

With each new generation of Pokemon games, they introduce new elements. Why not toss in dating sim elements as well? There’s already a call function on the Pokegear, so one could easily ask for people’s numbers in a way that means they want to date them. You’ve got seasons now in the game, folks! What else could you possibly add?!

I know what you’re going to say: But, Day, Pokemon is a game targeted at children; they probably wouldn’t be interested in dating dim stuff and it wouldn’t really be appropriate for them, either. Oh yeah? And my fist is a force that is aimed at your face. DEAL WITH IT.

Now, obviously you couldn’t just open it up to dating just anyone in the games. Its bad enough that Joey calls me up to talk about his Rattata and Tiffany always wants to talk about her Flaafy (dude, no one cares about your fucking Flaafy) – imagine how horrible it’d be if they just started calling you up to ask you things like what your sign is (do people still ask this??? I’m an anime fan, I shun social contact) and if you want to go see a movie Friday night. Awful. So there has to be a decently limited pool of possible people upon which to mack.

Now, I think its pretty obvious that Gym Leaders should be on that list. Misty wears a terrible swim suit, but I’d probably still ask her out. It may be worth putting the Elite Four on the list, although I’m not totally committed to the idea. Other characters should include the rival/childhood friend characters (why does Cheren wear such tight pants when he’s supposed to be ten years old? that’s kind of a HNNNNNGH-inducer in me… makes me all sadface when I can’t do that because then I go “wait, he’s ten years old ARGH EWW BLECH DO NOT WANT”), maybe a scattered few of the trainers you just battle along routes, and other special named characters like the Kimono girls or Eusine (I’m playing HeartGold right now, bite me) (actually, can Eusine just date Morty? come on, like you hadn’t had that thought before yourself).

The good thing about adding dating sim elements to the Pokemon games is that it adds more new stuff to the games, and, well, apparently people like that kind of thing. It also extends the playability of the games – once you finish up all the regular stuff, you can really focus on wooing that man or woman of your dreams! Maybe Blaine won’t take you seriously because you’re just some runt, so you have to work hard to prove to him that you’re worth his time. Maybe Gary Oak is axe-crazy, so you have to figure out how to break up with him successfully. So many opportunities here, folks!

Now, mentioning Blaine brings up a great point. Blaine is old. The Pokemon games star ten year olds. Hmm. Not so kosher.

But this is an easy fix – make the character’s age adjustable, and lock certain characters out from the dating pool based on age. So, basically, if you choose to make your character a ten year old, well, they can date their friend/rival or some of the younger gym leaders. On the other hand, if your character is twenty, they can’t date those younger gym leaders, but they sure can bag themselves Agatha!

So, folks, there you have it – the future of Pokemon games: dating sim elements. You can thank me later.

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21 Responses to Pokemon: The Dating Sim

  1. Aorii says:

    They producers are too busy thinking up the next aberrant trash-can pokemon with a crazy name to consider the possibility that ingame characters may have social lives that doesn’t involve pokemon battles… and such =P
    and if it’s in… nope, sorry, only allowed to date other shotas and lolis XP

  2. krizzlybear says:

    As I mentioned on twitter, Gardevoire route every single time. Cole train through that route all day, baby.

  3. As of HeartGold and Black…I totally agree with this. My life would be complete if the game would just let me freaking date Cheren–I mean I already support him in a pair with the female player character, so why won’t it let me?

  4. Baka-Raptor says:

    Isn’t this what fanfics are for?

  5. lvlln says:

    Not a fan of Pokemon, but seeing how much the dating sim aspect added to the Persona games, that sounds like a good idea. Many RPGs could use it. Final Fantasy, definitely. And maybe Phoenix Wright? Would’ve been interesting in Valkyria Chronicles… Record of Agarest War has a very spartan dating sim aspect, which probably would’ve added a lot to the game had it been fleshed out.

    • A Day Without Me says:

      And I think they could definitely make it something one could opt into; people who weren’t interested in it could just not utilize that aspect of the game.

  6. kadian1364 says:

    Did you know after you beat the Elite 4 in HG/SS the second time, you can meet the gym leaders outside of their gyms doing regular real life shit? You can challenge them to rematches and they’ll all wait for you in the same place. Collect all their numbers, never rematch them, and BAM instant harem!

  7. What is this I don't even... says:

    god, you are kidding me. you seriously want some romance sh!t on pokemon; that will ruin the image of it.

  8. trickster99 says:

    maybe its not such a bad idea. it would be pretty cool to ask a cute gym leader out… i say that they should honestly add that aspect to the pokemon series

  9. Emi says:

    They should have done that for Black. How many fangirls do you think want to ask N out?

    • AxelleAlphonsine says:

      I <3 N. The dating aspect isn't bad, but I think parents wouldn't buy the game for their kids if it was a dating sim. I mean this generation is just getting worse adding dating to a harmless kids game could have it's negative effects

  10. TNT says:

    True i guess dating would be very cool in pokemon, i always wished i could date the cute girls in the game, they are real teases when it comes to them, they stand in short outfits and in sexy poses but you can’t do anything with them. so i would say it’s a good idea. hope they add it sometime

  11. Wolffy says:

    lol i say add in light datting game opptions :D i mean honestly if kinds don’t like it then they don’t like it but it’d be nice to actualy have some romance in the game.they should also bring in characters from the mangas to add even more people to the dating/mattying lists.i mean really,if they have grown ups whom ARE married than shouldn’t they do the same damn thing with the kids and make it so ash ffinaly stops F-ing around and finally retires!?like seriously,HOW MANY DING-DONG YEARS IS HE GOING TO BE A 10YEAR OLD!?!?!?!?gawd!! =.= i mean really!when in the heck is he gonna settle down because the new stuff is just blech!!!they need to add some teenage prospects,it’ll get more people into the game oh and mabey they can make it so you can make your own character at the begining and you can choose what-ever reigon your from and if you’re famous or not and if not you can become famous and stuff :D like making it much more equal to how life is.i mean really that should at LEAST add more age groups to the list of buying the games and satisfying the old gamers of the poke-generation too right?and you could go to aaaall the reigons and choose to start over with your old starter like ash did oh so many times.i mean come on,it could be much more fun!~ X3

  12. Wolffy says:

    [oh wow i forgot i already added a comment here.... a well i'm adding another :D]
    someone should send the link to this page to the Pokemon game makers and if i could say something,like a few more additional things[ideas].they could add in multiple parts of charas like thier clothes,accessories and what not along with their hair and style of eyes like having two diff colored eyes or something and with the hair you could have some multiple styled bangs, side-burn bangs,and different hair styles and colors,and after you make your chara you can choose which reigon you wanna start at and it could be on a time-line basis like your first region you could be 10-15 years old and each time you start over in a new region[with a few eggs from the last region and your first poke-partner] your chara would become a year or two older.and when their done with all the regions they could use the X-tranciever or the phone to call up new and old friends from all the regions and decide on who to date/settle down with and the ones who you date the most could all visit you at your home at the same time and they’d end up fighting over you!~XD oh Gog[haha homestuck ref] how funny would that be!?XD Plus as you grow older in the game you could have the possibilities of unlocking more and new bachelors/bachelets.heck you could even get your rival/whoever you fight alot with[who is in your age range and liking] to end up falling for you in it.plus who doesn’t want to see N having a ‘bro moment’ with one or a few of the other male charas?it’d be hilarious if someone told a joke about Pokemon and he believed them XDaaat anyrate that’s about all i have to say…for now… =w= hehehehehe~~~~XD

  13. Shadow says:

    Fist I think we should ask the Baer minimum from this thread?……adjustable ages

  14. Jacob says:

    Sounds good to me, I’d go for Cynthia.

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