Thirteen is a better number than twelve
Well, shit, bros, I did a top five, and I did it much too soon (as noted in my K review), so here is the perfected top five:
- Aquarion EVOL
Yep, bros, Symphogear got bumped out. Bummer, I know – but, hey, if it gets its second season in 2013, maybe it’ll make an appearance on next year’s list that lasts! But, lol, next year’s list, yeah, well, plot complication device…
Anyway, I wrapped up K, having mistakenly thought that it took a week break and was going to finish in 2013, and then realized my error. Eep! But, hey, it clonked into the rankings, chucking Aquarion EVOL and Another down a rung each, and kicking Sapphogear right out! So it must be good, right? Well, maybe, but at least it was entertaining, and for enough homoeroticism to cause baby mongooses to break out in hives as well as SKY NAZI, K gets onto the list at number three. Hell yes, gimme that second season!
But that isn’t my only point to this post. No, my darlings, I wanted to just… year in review, y’know, bros? Not just the animez (that got animade!) (thank you for that one, Cholisose, you are a great member of the human race), but, well, blogginating.
Oh, blogging. I had so many moments when I basically was “lolololol me as a blogger lololololol”, but then I had such grand heights, like my post about rape culture and Monster-kun when all the Redditors and the 4ch folks invaded from their various hells, and, holy hell, was I not anticipating that sort of influx at all. That day (that week!) blew any previous views record completely out of the water, and the comments section crushed the comments section on any other post. If I had let every comment get through, there would’ve been roughly 350 comments on that damn post. But, hey, no thanks for abusive commenters attacking legit commenters! This is NOT a free country, bros – this is my blog.
I think this is where a pair of sunglasses is supposed to appear from above to drift solidly onto my face as “DEAL WITH IT” appears in text underneath my face, but, sadly, I’ve already got sunglasses and for some reason it says “DAT ASS” instead.
Yes, bros, that’s right, this might be Year in Review, but it may be more accurate to call it Day’s Magical Mystery Tour, this is one of my winding, rambling posts to nowhere (and not at all Alaska). As such, fully expect deranged references to… anything at all, like the CIA blowing up the moon (spoilers: they failed) or perhaps the fact that the governor of Massachusetts’ father was part of Sun Ra’s band (Sun Ra thought he was from Saturn, which is sooo craaazy, because until I was ten years old, I told everyone I was Saturn, so obviously Sun Ra and I are spiritual brothers) (sisters) (oh whatever who the hell cares).
Spoiler alert: Sun Ra is dead. But Paul is not.
You know what the top driver of views of my blog is right now, and has been since its inception? That stupid, idiotic Smokin’ Jay Cutler fanfiction that I started writing as a joke… and then kept writing wtf bros. The best part, of course, is that it was linked by the Smokin’ Jay Cutler Tumblr, and this without me submitting a link or anything. They just found it, even as I had completely snuck it onto my blog with nary a whisper! Except, ok, to a few of my loser readers on Twitter. So, hail to the SJC Tumbly for ensuring my infamy and a legion of people confusedly staring at my blog and asking, “What the fuck is a gar gar stegosaurus?”
And, remember bros: madness is looking at the SJC Tumblr for so long that Jay Cutler starts to look attractive. *shudders*
And now for a crap-quality picture:
Oh, lord, where was I?
Uhhhhh anime blogging. Yeah!
The year was capped off with Scamp mistakenly informing his mother that I was writing gay fanfiction porn to celebrate New Year’s Eve (when we all know that is how I celebrate every day of the week). Her advice? “Show, don’t tell.” Welp.
I only wrote 140 posts in 2012, and most of them were stupid, I’m pretty sure. I did start to read some other blogs, so I’m slightly less of a loser anime blogger than I was in 2011 – progress, fuck yeah! But, yeah, those posts; this used to be a semi-dignified blog, but then I discovered a love for the likes of G Gundam and Symphogear and all hope was forever lost. Here are my pissah posts planned for the new year:
- Honey*Smile review (it was ok)
- Dining Bar Akira review (lulz, what a fucking lie, I’ve owned this for a year and a half already and have read it about five times and still haven’t reviewed it, this shit’ll never happen)
- AKB0048 review
- Madoka Magica post about Sayaka (because folks were arguing about whether she was basically a Nice Guy or not and for some reason I can’t leave well enough alone)
- MD Geist OST review (“CAN’T STOP, HE’S JUST A SOLDIER”)
- Winter 2013 Season Preview (AKB0048 Second Stage = teh awesom3z, Tamago thingy = cute, everything else = uh wait there are other shows)
I also have a safety video planned for what to do in the event of an active shooter (no, really, bros, I’m totally serious), and my pipe-dream is to do a music video to the MD Geist theme song starring myself because why the hell not. Are any of you willing to shoot footage of me doing the following:
- driving my truck
- standing on a rocky shore with the waves hitting the rocks and looking badass
- slowly taking off my sunglasses in a badass manner
- walking in a manly fashion down a road
? Please say yes; the internet depends on it.
Have you ever wished you were an anime character? I was going to lie and say that I wished I was Nyanko-sensei from Natsume Yuujinchou this year, but I only thought of it just now that if I were going to be one, it’d be him, and that seems like cheating an hour before midnight.
There you go, bros, I just solved your V-Day dilemma for you. If your V-Day dilemma isn’t that you don’t have a card for your (e-)waifu, well, then, you can give it to yourself.
2012 was digital distribution of manga legally getting big, although I still cling stubbornly to my dead tree formatted stuff, refusing to trust any company that doesn’t let me download a copy directly to my own hard-drive in a manner where said company cannot snatch it back and laugh at me later for my foolishness. If you think this cannot happen, please look to Amazon’s various scandals regarding suddenly vanished content. And as for these larger companies, it seems these past couple of years have just brought us screaming back to square one regarding censorship – so much for the digital era unchaining us all! It isn’t that I’m not willing to go with digital (it absolutely is the future, and there are so many reasons why it is a good move, even if I love the physical experience of printed books), but I’m not willing to do so until I’m able to do it in a manner where I need not worry about a content provider changing its mind on me after I’ve paid for something – and, no, getting a refund does not make it better.
Although, thankfully, there is apparently change afoot at JManga in regards to content delivery. Good!
Just remember, at heart I adhere to a Marxist worldview, so my largest concern when it comes to digital versus non for books is that the common folks will lose their access to literature and it will once again become the province of the wealthy and the comfortable. Many people do not have electricity, let alone internet, so I fear that a rapid shift to digital will leave them out in the cold, all those “give rural tribal people tablets!” projects be damned. Based on overall book sales, we don’t seem to be in danger of that quite yet, but I nevertheless am leery.
And you know what else makes me leery? The lack of a special e-reader or tablet for the blind that is capable of rendering braille. The advent of text-to-speech software has meant a further decline in number of blind people learning braille, even in the face of a growing body of research which indicates that those who learn braille perform significantly better on tests of critical thinking than those who do not. In fact, to put it more honestly - people who learn braille have critical thinking skills and those who do not statistically do not have critical thinking skills. Reading makes a big difference, folks.
This is one of the very, very few moments where I wish I’d gone to school for something technical, not so I could be one of only a fistful of remaining holders of Humanities degrees in the U.S.
Well, shit, I’ve gone a bit far afield, I think.
Oh, geez, did I even talk about anime here? Have I failed, my brethren, my comrades, my lovers of the platonic internet kind? Have I?
Where would I be without blogging? I never would’ve met so many weird and wonderful people if I hadn’t somehow gotten it into my head that I should blog, and 2012 was another year where I met some of the weird and wonderful person in real life. I hope this will be true of 2013 as well! But, really, bros, a lot of you have come to mean a lot to me (in real life, even!), and I hope you’ll stick it out through 2013 with me as well, even if there are going to be some rather massive changes later in the year. But don’t worry about it, now, bros, we’ve got a fifth birthday for the blog coming up before then!
So good night and good luck and carpe diem and have a grand old new year and somewhere Mark Sanchez and Tim Tebow are angrily swapping spit in a locker room as the shine wears off. And if you want to ruin the end of your year/ruin the beginning of your year, I highly recommend you keep scrolling:
Why, why, why?
Why, why, why not?
AOI HANA WAS LICENSED THIS YEAR. SO WAS ONIISAMA E AND ROSE OF VERSAILLES. I JUST REMEMBERED THIS AND STARTED HYPERVENTILATING AGAIN.
Also, Mad Bull 34 was re-licensed. Enjoy your 2013 best show!
And, last, but certainly not least: