Who the hell doesn’t love sleep?
OH, THAT’S RIGHT – THIS GUY.
I don’t know why you wouldn’t like sleeping. Sleeping is probably my favorite thing in the world – you climb into your nice, cozy bed, pull up the covers, get all comfy, hug your blankie/plushie/body pillow, and close your eyes, letting the warm glory of the sleep cycle encase you. And then, even better, you get to dream! And you wake up, and you’ve just had the most badass dreams, dreams in which you did seriously fucking awesome things you’ll never do in real life because you aren’t an anime character.
But, seriously, who doesn’t like sleep?
I’ll tell you who – the Antichrist. 
Whoa, shit, did I just allege that one of my fellow bloggers in the Antichrist?
Fuck no, obviously the Antichrist will be coming from Europe, probably from an area that was part of the Roman Empire of old. This is also why Obama is clearly no the Antichrist, and anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is an absolute moron. But, hey, even is Glo isn’t the Antichrist, he clearly has something in common with him, and thus cannot be trusted.
Sleeping makes you feel better. Its also just a great way to spend time – nothing can go wrong while you’re sleeping, its a proven fact. Think about it – if bad shit happens while you’re sleeping, you don’t know its happened… and if you don’t know its happened, then, technically, for you it hasn;t happened yet. So just keep on snoozing, since you’re escaping any problems that way.
Glo has some other things he think you could be doing instead of sleep. I’ll hit up a few of them to debunk; since I actually SLEEP unlike the Antichrist Glo, I’m not going to go over all of them. Instead, I’m going to return to my homework so I can go to sleep at a decent hour, especially since I get to sleep in to-morrow (YAY GET TO SLEEP UNTIL 8 A.M.).
Um, no, we’re anime fans – we don’t do that. Duh.
“9. Watch the sun rise.”
I do that three times a week and I still get to sleep.
“15. Have Some More Sex”
“19. Drink a pot of coffee.”
Fuck coffee. The only people who drink coffee are wimps who are addicted to caffeine. All you need to do to stay awake is man the fuck up. Or, gee, I dunno – get some fucking sleep.
“22. Raid your refrigerator.”
What the fuck? If you don’t need to sleep/don’t like sleeping, you’re the Antichrist, so you don’t need to eat, you dumb shit. 
“30. Play ‘Whose Inside Me’ by yourself.”
Well, you’re an anime fan, so obviously you’re not playing it with anyone else.
“32. Travel to Europe.”
You can sleep on the plane, you moron.
“40. Re-arrange your room.”
I cannot even fathom why you would do this instead of sleeping. In four years of college, I haven’t once re-arranged the res hall furniture. Since I moved from my childhood home to my adolescent(ish) home, my furniture was arranged once, and that was by my parents a week after we moved in (I was eight years old). The idea of dragging your furniture around your room for shits and giggles is purely demented.
“41. Challenge yourself to drink a gallon of milk.”
So instead of sleeping you can be puking?
“48. You could husk corn.”
It goes downhill from there (not that there’s much uphill to start with), as Glo clearly completely degenerates into a drooling mess from lack of sleep, as clearly evidenced by his listening to Nine Inch Nails (although apparently one of their songs makes drunk girls start kissing, but only if someone who looks like an Iranian raver is singing it for karaoke ).
Anyway, you go to sleep, are unconscious and have sweet hallucinations for however many hours, and then you wake up feeling fresh. You won’t feel like crap during classes or work, and you won’t accidentally run over a four year old because you’ve fallen asleep at the wheel. Aaaand at lunch you can share your sweet/wicked pissah/awesome dreams with your friends/coworkers/mom/sock puppet! Telling hot acquaintances that you dreamt of sexing them is the sure way to their heart, so you’ll get help from your sleep in that regard, too.
But, hell, if that isn’t enough to convince you (shouldn’t not wanting to be the Antichrist be enough?), then here’s a final wicked pissah reason for sleeping: so you be as amazingly fucking awesome as I am.
Yeah, that’s me – how could you not want to be that freaking awesome?  Too bad you can’t see my muscles – that’s really the only problem with this photo.
Also: only pedophiles don’t like sleep. That way, they can spy on sleeping children. Creepy fuckers.
* * *
 The link I have there doesn’t actually help too much, I have to say – suffice to say, in some Christian Protestant belief sets, the Antichrist, after being indwelt by the devil, doesn’t need to eat or sleep.
 Since you all probably think I’m insane at this point, let me take a second to explain why I’m belching out batshit theories – my thesis work is on premillenial dispensationalism, a manner of interpreting Biblical prophecy which is pretty hard to sum up briefly. Essentially, one day all the good Christians will get sucked up (Raptured) into heaven, and everyone else will be stuck on Earth to get tortured by the Antichrist for seven years in a period known as the Tribulation. During these seven years, God will rain down twenty-one judgements upon us and most of us will die. Then Jesus will come back and defeat the Antichrist, cast him/her/it and all of their followers into the Lake of Fire, and then set up a kingdom on earth. And I’ll tell you right now that this stuff is just flat-out bad theology, as the contortions required to interpret the prohpetic passages of the Bible in such a manner are ridiculously convoluted. Nevertheless, I do find it fairly fascinating, soooo… its my thesis work.
 See 1.
 Don’t take my word for it; here be secondhand advice from my friend Santo.
 So freaking awesome, in fact, that I had my little brother take this photo for the express purpose of putting it on my blog. Seriously. It was actually originally just going to be part of a post in which I pointlessly related anecdotes from my vacation (including a politically incorrect jab at Baka-Raptor) (and a dig at the American South) with related photos. It was going to be really funny, and totally off-topic. I might still do it, we’ll see, but I feel that I should probably have a legit post before doing something stupid like that.