Inspired by my gay love for Baka-Raptor.
In normal life, I am allergic to new years’ resolutions. To me, they seem seriously pointless – if you want to change something or do something, you shouldn’t have to wait until the opening of the year to galvanize yourself. I also like to solve my problems by shooting things, so I don’t know why you’d need to make a resolution about that anyway – just grab the shotgun and go!
However, I’m super gay for Baka-Raptor, so I thought I would to at least help advance his noble cause. I also realized that, for some reason, I cannot address any issues I wish to sort out vis-a-vis my blog/anime fan-ness in general with weaponry, something terribly saddening, as I was hoping to use a Howitzer this year for shits and giggles. But, as my favorite man in the world is known to say, it is what it is.
1. Help Baka-Raptor advance his noble cause.
Baka-Raptor’s noble cause is to triumph over Google. While I am suspicious of Google’s retention habits regarding search data, I am madly, gayly in love with Baka-Raptor, so I figure I’m willing to help out on that front.
2. Win the Baka-Raptor Award for Creepiest Female Blogger.
Does this award exist? No. Does anyone other than Baka-Raptor ever win any of his awards? No. Does any of that mean anything to be me? Of course not.
3. Find and purchase lots and lots of boxes of Jolly Ranches candy canes.
The other day I found Jolly Ranchers candy canes for 75% off. I bought a box to try them… and they are amazing. I also need to buy many so I can invent a cocktail involving them to follow up my brilliant creation which involves strawberry vodka, lemonade, cranberry juice, and jolly ranchers. For some reason, no one will drink this, because they all claim it gives them hangovers. I think everyone is just a bunch of big fucking wusses who need to woman/man up. If I can drink ten of these in one night and not be hungover, other people should be able to have five and be fine!
4. Finish 11eyes.
I only have an episode left, but the previous two episodes were like dragging myself across a field of burning glass shards. But I can’t review it and torch it until I finish it. What a quandary…
All done fuckers. Ha.
5. Do a podcast with Glo.
Don’t worry, its happening. Can you say shitshow?
6. Recapture the glory of being the number one search result for ‘Baka-Raptor BL’.
For some reason Baka-Raptor is the number one hit for this… or, rather, a comment I made on some post of his ages a week ago. Wtf? This needs to be fixed.
7. Never again make any more resolutions.
What the fuck is this shit? I should be doing something useful like running neighborhood children over with a sled.