The Cynical Spring ’10 Preview

I haven’t watched previews. But I know what’ll suck.

Everyone knows the real reason bloggers do seasonal previews is so they can bitch about what shows are going to be total shitfests without any real evidence to indicate such a thing. DUH. So why even bother pretend I somehow feel a tiny bit optimistic about anything when I can just display my full negative attitude?

Ikkitousen Xtreme Xecutor/Shin Koihime Musou Otome Tairan/SD Gundam Sangokuden

What the fuck? The world needs more shitty Romance of the Three Kingdoms adaptations? And now if not only needs all of them genderbent, but mechabent too? Wow, I’m so glad Japan is happy to dumb down RotTK for the lowest common denominator and slap boobs or steel on all the characters. Since I’ve avidly followed all previous iterations of Ikkitousen and Koihime Musou, OBVIOUSLY I’ll be watching both of those. Maybe they can have a special crossover episode between all three? Or the Gundam one can throw in some scantily clad ladies!

Kaichou wa Maid-sama

The top student actually works at a maid cafe! And her good-looking classmate is going to blackmail her over it! Man, true romance really does smell like objectification and humiliation! I’m so happy that, once again, Japan realizes that all silly women, even when they seem to have the upper-hand, are really just subject to and meant to cater to the whims of men! Good thing someone can tell me the truth! Thanks, Japan!

K-ON!! II

Look, guys! The moeblobs are back, picking fruitlessly at their musical instruments, doing cute things for our enjoyment, and somehow having a season comprised of approximately six episodes of cosplay, three episodes of beach, two episodes of non-conflict conflict, and an episode of character development! I’m glad KyoAni remembered it must satisfy its braindead core audience. Cute girls!! Doing cute things!! Cutely!! With two exclamation points!!

Mayoi Neko Overrun

Look, guys! A show with a totally new and fresh premise! There this average guy, you see, and he’s living with his older sister… except they’re not related by blood!!! And then he finds this beautiful girl one day, but she has amnesia or something, so he brings her home instead of doing something silly like bringing her to a hospital or the police. But she’s kind of loud and abrasive and mean! And then some other girl is involved… somehow. And there are cats! And now this guy is living with a bunch of pretty girls! Wow, that’s a set-up I’ve never even heard of before! Do you think he’ll get romantically entangled with all three? No way! Right? And if he does, I’ll never have seen it coming!

Kiss x Sis

Ok, so there’s this average guy who is getting totally tortured by his elder twin sisters! Except they’re not really his sisters… they’re his step-sisters. And they both love him! But, man, that’s such a pain! And they’re his sisters, he shouldn’t be attracted to them! Except… he is! And his parents encourage him to date/marry one of them. In the meantime, they’re happy to expose themselves to him and try to get in his pants express their love for him. What a thrillingly original tale!

B Gata H Kei

A girl wants to meet and have sex with one hundred guys! But then she finds herself falling in love with only one guy and pursuing him… those silly women! They all want to be whores, but then their silly little biology gets in the way, and before you know it, they’re tricking you into popping a baby into their oven!

D.C.~Da Capo~ Ext

In case you hadn’t had your fill of dull harem antics, Da Capo is back with another season! Its here to re-tell the last season of it! Hooray for more extended/awkward crying scenes! And doormat girls! And cherryblossom trees! And magic! Three cheers for mediocrity!

Ichiban Ushiro no Daimao

Haven’t had your fill of bottom-of-the-barrel harem shows for this upcoming season? Don’t worry, this’ll fix it! And the guy in it, he isn’t just an average guy! He’s a misunderstood guy! His tests for this magical academy show he’s gonna be a demon lord, so no one likes him! But there’s lots of girls with big boobs around, so its ok, and when they say they don’t like him, it just means they’re too embarrassed to admit that they do! Silly girls, always messing with you like that!

There you have it, folks – Romance of the Three Kingdoms, harems, and incest! what a bang-up season!

EDIT: And I’ll have you know that I took time out of my busy schedule of watching the NCAA tournament with drag queens to bring you this brilliant preview. You’re welcome.

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18 Responses to The Cynical Spring ’10 Preview

  1. Baka-Raptor says:

    Nice to know everything sucks. Now I can quit watching anime in peace.

  2. glothelegend says:

    Looks like an anime season filled with originality once again! Hoorah!

  3. Sorrow-kun says:

    K-On 2? More Da Capo?! Oh man, where the fuck do I sign up?

    • adaywithoutme says:

      Somewhere where someone can see and thus decide to make another season of Da Capo a year from now, duh.

  4. Aorii says:

    Huh? I thought half of the bloggers listed only the shows that they’re watching and ignored the rest’s existence.

    Nevertheless, this is hilarious xD

    • adaywithoutme says:

      I think there’s a lot of rampant negative speculation prior to airdates as opposed to of positive speculation. There are exceptions, of course, but I think people like to rag more than they do praise.

  5. Aile says:

    well, nice to know that I’ll get more time to work down my anime backlog instead of having to keep up with too many interesting current shows. The only good news here: new K-On songs for me to play on my guitar.

    (and, stepping back and putting things in perspective, hasn’t it really always be the case since its inception, that 90% of any given season is crap ? I can’t really complain because I don’t care about ‘anime’ as a whole, I’ll have my few favorite shows, and if the rest of them don’t aspire to be anything more than derivative cash-in’s, so be it, I’m way past expecting any integrity out of the medium itself.)

    • adaywithoutme says:

      I actually only listed shows that look like they’ll suck. There’s a lot of other stuff this season that, at the very least, looks worth checking out, such as Senko no Night Raid or Working!!.

  6. 2DT says:

    Mmm… Those do look quite bad. But I thought Toradora! was going to be awful, and I ended up eating crow on that one. I’ll wait and see.

    I’m really looking forward to new K-ON!.

    • adaywithoutme says:

      I thought Toradora! looked like it could be decent, but was shocked in that it turned out to be quite good, even. It was technically harem, but it never really felt that way, which was astounding.

      I’m looking forward to Senko no Night Raid, albeit somewhat leerily since it takes place in Shanghai in 1931, and Japan is a bit notoriously dicey in its depictions of its imperial efforts in China in the 1930’s and 40’s… Other than that, Uragiri no wa Boku no Namae wo Shitte Iru, Yojo-han Shinwa Taikei, Arakawa Under the Bridge, House of Five Leaves, and Working! are all on my “to check out” list.

  7. Gunstray says:

    This a seaseon of sport,or some other random shit, and Bones is doing Heroman, now thats fuwking original….

    • adaywithoutme says:

      I suppose if only because its BONES it could potentially be interesting, although it certainly isn’t up my alley even slightly.

  8. Owen S says:

    Pithy one-liner about how the end of anime is nigh.

    Comment about how this well-researched post validates my exceedingly narrow perceptions, before going on an off-topic rant, successfully hijacking your blog post in the process.

    Passive-aggressive note of resentment.

    • adaywithoutme says:

      Overstated remark that this is the best comment this blog has ever received. Followed by excessive profanity for no particular reason. Reminder that every season of anime ever has had a lot of stinkers for every good show. Closing comment that several of said stinkers have, in fact, been awesome for all the wrong reasons. Decision to go to dinner, ending comment.

  9. Pingback: Ohhh yeah! Spring! | Oishii Anime

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