I haven’t watched previews. But I know what’ll suck.
Everyone knows the real reason bloggers do seasonal previews is so they can bitch about what shows are going to be total shitfests without any real evidence to indicate such a thing. DUH. So why even bother pretend I somehow feel a tiny bit optimistic about anything when I can just display my full negative attitude?
Ikkitousen Xtreme Xecutor/Shin Koihime Musou Otome Tairan/SD Gundam Sangokuden
What the fuck? The world needs more shitty Romance of the Three Kingdoms adaptations? And now if not only needs all of them genderbent, but mechabent too? Wow, I’m so glad Japan is happy to dumb down RotTK for the lowest common denominator and slap boobs or steel on all the characters. Since I’ve avidly followed all previous iterations of Ikkitousen and Koihime Musou, OBVIOUSLY I’ll be watching both of those. Maybe they can have a special crossover episode between all three? Or the Gundam one can throw in some scantily clad ladies!
Kaichou wa Maid-sama
The top student actually works at a maid cafe! And her good-looking classmate is going to blackmail her over it! Man, true romance really does smell like objectification and humiliation! I’m so happy that, once again, Japan realizes that all silly women, even when they seem to have the upper-hand, are really just subject to and meant to cater to the whims of men! Good thing someone can tell me the truth! Thanks, Japan!
Look, guys! The moeblobs are back, picking fruitlessly at their musical instruments, doing cute things for our enjoyment, and somehow having a season comprised of approximately six episodes of cosplay, three episodes of beach, two episodes of non-conflict conflict, and an episode of character development! I’m glad KyoAni remembered it must satisfy its braindead core audience. Cute girls!! Doing cute things!! Cutely!! With two exclamation points!!
Mayoi Neko Overrun
Look, guys! A show with a totally new and fresh premise! There this average guy, you see, and he’s living with his older sister… except they’re not related by blood!!! And then he finds this beautiful girl one day, but she has amnesia or something, so he brings her home instead of doing something silly like bringing her to a hospital or the police. But she’s kind of loud and abrasive and mean! And then some other girl is involved… somehow. And there are cats! And now this guy is living with a bunch of pretty girls! Wow, that’s a set-up I’ve never even heard of before! Do you think he’ll get romantically entangled with all three? No way! Right? And if he does, I’ll never have seen it coming!
Kiss x Sis
Ok, so there’s this average guy who is getting totally tortured by his elder twin sisters! Except they’re not really his sisters… they’re his step-sisters. And they both love him! But, man, that’s such a pain! And they’re his sisters, he shouldn’t be attracted to them! Except… he is! And his parents encourage him to date/marry one of them. In the meantime, they’re happy to expose themselves to him and try to get in his pants express their love for him. What a thrillingly original tale!
B Gata H Kei
A girl wants to meet and have sex with one hundred guys! But then she finds herself falling in love with only one guy and pursuing him… those silly women! They all want to be whores, but then their silly little biology gets in the way, and before you know it, they’re tricking you into popping a baby into their oven!
D.C.~Da Capo~ Ext
In case you hadn’t had your fill of dull harem antics, Da Capo is back with another season! Its here to re-tell the last season of it! Hooray for more extended/awkward crying scenes! And doormat girls! And cherryblossom trees! And magic! Three cheers for mediocrity!
Ichiban Ushiro no Daimao
Haven’t had your fill of bottom-of-the-barrel harem shows for this upcoming season? Don’t worry, this’ll fix it! And the guy in it, he isn’t just an average guy! He’s a misunderstood guy! His tests for this magical academy show he’s gonna be a demon lord, so no one likes him! But there’s lots of girls with big boobs around, so its ok, and when they say they don’t like him, it just means they’re too embarrassed to admit that they do! Silly girls, always messing with you like that!
There you have it, folks – Romance of the Three Kingdoms, harems, and incest! what a bang-up season!
EDIT: And I’ll have you know that I took time out of my busy schedule of watching the NCAA tournament with drag queens to bring you this brilliant preview. You’re welcome.