Ah, spring! Youth! Romance!
I am coming to you live as a newly minted college graduate! Which is alternately exciting and soul-crushingly terrifying. I overheard a classmate stating that they were afraid of graduation because it meant they would be officially unemployed… and alcoholic. I’m not in nearly as dire straits as this individual was, but I’m still feeling that scary “Shit, now I have to be a real adult” kind of feeling.
Anyway, that isn’t really either here or there, quite frankly. Yet it does also strike me as odd that in the context of impending graduation in the previous few weeks I’ve suddenly found myself reading piles of shoujo romance. In fact, I’m kind of embarrassed at the trend my manga-reading has taken as of late – yeah, I’ve still got tons of yuri and BL about adults that I’ve been chowing down on (in addition to Aoi Hana and Girl Friends), but I’ve also been reading loads of things with sparkles and bishounen and… flowers that aren’t lilies. What the hell?
I suppose one could suggest that I am merely reacting to the forced reality of the adult world by retreating into fantasy in order to soothe my terrified soul. That could certainly hold some water. After all, I’ve used books in that manner in the past – middle school really sucked, I survived it by consuming insane amounts of books. And when high school kind of hit the skids in its later years, I reacted in a similar manner. Literature has kept me alive and from becoming wholly depressed. Yay reading!
At the same time, I’m not sure that would be quite it – I don’t need happy stories to distract me from reality, after all, and I actually read a lot of pretty bummer stuff when I was in middle school and high school (which probably explains why Ethan Frome was my favorite book… and, well, still is one of my favorites). If anything, happy-happy romance-type stuff was a total turn-off to me. Well, ok, unless it was BL manga, but that’s because I’ve been a nasty perv roughly since 2003 (wow, a third of my life as a nasty perv… not bad). Escaping into literature has never required me to find some mushy stuff.
No, I think there is something far more insidious afoot.
I’d like to digress for a moment, though. Although I’ve been reading a bunch of sparkly, sparkly shoujo stuff (none of that sparkly vampire crap, though, let me assure you), I found myself pretty disappointed in the offerings of Harlequin. I was looking for some pretty shallow romance fluff, but their junk was just TOO shallow. I get that these are one volume offerings, but I’ve seen five-page one-shots with more heart and believability than these…
Anyway, where was I?
Oh, yes – something far more insidious afoot.
Day… has fallen in love.
Cue existential crisis. It isn’t like this is the first time this has ever happened, but I’ve been pretty happy with just, y’know, watching anime, shooting things, and outdrinking everyone on campus for the past year or so. So I’m not too thrilled with this sudden onset of retardedness, which apparently includes a desire to read every single one of Chiho Saito’s works (uh, excepting the fucked up ones like Kanon, that is) (hint: Kanon has incest… and it isn’t twincest, so it isn’t wincest).
I am violating some sacred tenet of anime blogging – the anime blogger obviously should not possess anything resembling a “real” life outside of anime and blogging (ghostlightning doesn’t count… ‘cause otherwise he’s REALLY screwed this one up, what with the whole ‘wife and kid’ thing). I am quite clearly committing grand treason against my craft. I am daring to swap my adoration of new chapters of Aoi Hana or new episodes of Yumeiro Pattissiere for the likes of… romance.
These delicate little feelings are entirely one-sided! I have absolutely no chance! All I can do is be wonderful and yet hear them talk about someone else! Hallelujah! I haven’t totally betrayed my principles! I am still a good citizen of the aniblogosphere (hint: jpmeyer is not a good citizen of the aniblogosphere)!
I HATH REDEEMED MYSELF!
Or, well, never quite committed full-on treason in the first place.
Now I can go on to pine away slightly over these feelings and assuage the sweet sadness with endless episodes of Air, Clannad, and Kanon. Yes, perhaps I am not thrilled with my lot, but look at those poor, innocent, fragile, sad girls in the sun/sakura/snow! I want to protect them! With my penis vagina!
And that statement, my friends, is why this is not a family-friendly blog.
Anyway, expect some sort of post in the near future on Chiho Saito’s Waltz in the White Dress, which was actually kind of an interesting read in light of the recent controversy regarding the currently-airing Senkou no Night Raid. I’d say why, but I’m pretty sure that would take away any impetus at all for that promised post.