The Decay of the Fan

Its official: I’ve finally become a loser fanboy.

This, somehow, despite the fact that I am not male. Funny how that works. Saying ‘loser fangirl’, though, implies that I’m drooling and shrieking about how hot someone is as well, though, which, while the loser fanboy is also well-known for craziness about certain characters or people, it isn’t quite the same as the variety assumed for loser fangirls.

Actually, its probably better to describe it as finally falling fully into the bottomless crevass of nerd-dom. I mean, before I certainly dabbled in it – come on, anime and sci-fi? Could I really claim to be anything other than that? I got excited over Sci-Fi channel movies, bought Torchwood action figures, got thrills out of reading the descriptions of the upcoming season’s new anime, wrote fanfics… and was disappointed that I couldn’t do any fanart…

So, yeah, not like I was terribly far from being a total loser nerd anyway. But I had a life! I was in good shape and wasn’t afraid of sunlight! I interacted with real, 3D people! I wasn’t a total lost cause!

In the past two weeks, though, all of that ended… and I fully transcended any ‘normal’ attributes I had, or at least transcended any non-nerd attributes I had (I really can’t claim to be anything approximating the mainstream norm, honestly – I’m actually pretty weird in everyday life, so even if the nerdiness wasn’t apparent, people can generally pick me out as being a bit odd). I…

Day reached level 32! Something is happening…!


Day evolved into… NERDAY!

So, how exactly did this happen?

Well, it goes like this – since I got back from training, at first I was lazy. Completely lazy. I caught up on sleep and caught up on shows I’d been following. I checked out a bunch of summer shows! All routine, all normal! I even did things like exercising and going to the bookstore and going for walks in the city… all like the life I’d been living!

And then… I bought a used copy of Pokemon LeafGreen.

And then… I made the mistake of flipping casually through a BL manga at the bookstore.

Succinctly, then: this morning, as I sat reading BL for about the third day in a row, it hit me: all I’ve been doing for the past five days has been playing Pokemon and reading BL. Except, I thought of it this way, “Wait, all I do these days is play Pokemon and read porn… OH SHIT.”

…and then I kept reading and got annoyed when the batteries on my Gameboy died.

…I can has a Kanon figure now? Please? I can put it next to my Jack Harkness figure… they can be friends… and my friends too… we can read BL together… uguuu~

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24 Responses to The Decay of the Fan

  1. Baka-Raptor says:

    You’re welcome.

    • adaywithoutme says:

      You’re just jealous ’cause you can’t read BL and play Pokemon eighteen hours a day.

  2. kluxorious says:

    Welcome to my world, except that I write fanfics and read/watch yaoi instead of game/yaoi

    • adaywithoutme says:

      Man, I used to write fanfics… in fact, if you really dig around, I’m sure you can find some. I wrote a lot of BL, but I also wrote a few yuri ones and het ones.

      Actually… talking about fanfiction makes me want to write some more… hmm…

  3. Aorii says:

    Wait I’m a total nerd (actually I think geek is still more appropriate here) and I still workout/interact, I don’t think that’s the part that matters xP
    Besides, it’s only been temporary. Keep it up for months and… that ain’t nerdom, that’s NEETdom =x

    Welcome to the NHK

    • adaywithoutme says:

      I better go out and shoot something to keep that from happening, or go see a movie, or just spend time in sunlight.

  4. kaei says:

    Your classification of yourself as a “fanboy” rather than “fangirl” based on your behaviour, and not your true gender, makes me wonder – if a “fanboy” can refer to both male and female fans, can “fangirl” also refer to both male and female fans? Can you imagine a male fan fangirling?

  5. Canne says:

    You did exactly what I have always dreamed of doing, except for the BL part. You are one lucky fanboy(fangirl?)!

    • adaywithoutme says:

      I’m actually starting to get sick of it. I’m on hold waiting for real-life to start right now.

  6. RyanA says:

    Awww… I think you need to lay off the porn, and get out. At least you can play Pokemon in just about any environment. Oh, and cleaning/organizing things, or maybe arts+crafts/doodling something silly like that can flip your psyche around and pull you out of a slum.

    A few days isn’t really bad, but like Aorii said, if it turns into months it’s NEETdom. I don’t know if you were implying your activity is having a negative effect, but if it makes you feel bad/negative, it’s probably not healthy or wholesome. ;;

    Cheers, and go find some sunshine!

    • adaywithoutme says:

      Well, I could read the BL on the train or something. But I feel like it’d make some of my fellow passengers uncomfortable if I did that.

      Yuck, cleaning. Something I should do at some point… and probably won’t. I won’t be able to achieve NEETdom since I should have to have transcended the final throes of college-dom into adulthood by about November at the latest.

  7. kadian1364 says:

    We’re all dysfunctional in our own peculiar ways. Turning into lazy mush for a couple days is hardly anything to worry about.

  8. doriinatrix says:

    “Wait, all I do these days is play Pokemon and read porn… OH SHIT.”

    Related so hard. That’s basically me in the summer.

  9. glothelegend says:

    I had almost nothing to do with anime this summer…

    I guess it doesn’t help that I’ve been playing call of duty nonstop lately…

  10. Pingback: BL, Yuri, and (lack of) Deviance « GAR GAR Stegosaurus

  11. Valence says:

    I’m probably your polar opposite. I spend my days watching and reading Yuri while complaining why my brother broke his DS thus stopping me from playing any Pokemon games.

    • adaywithoutme says:

      I’m kicking it old school with a GBA.

      …fuck, when did a GBA become old school?

      But I do read yuri a bunch, too, I’m just pickier about it and have been feeding on a steady diet of BL lately. I did read the latest chapter of Girl Friends the other day, though.

  12. Aile says:

    For me, the category “(loser) fanboy/girl” denotes somebody who is a) heavily involved in -particular- stuff, b) to the exclusion of much else.
    (a) operative word is “particular” here, because our culture seems to be rather distinguishing in what pursuits it deems “worthy” and what obsessions deserve the label “fanboy”, the derogatory nature of the term being a value judgment about the particular activity.

    For example, I like to read philosophers like Schopenhauer, sometimes very excessively so; however I’m less likely to be called a “fanboy” than if I were to spend the same amout of time reading manga.

    I like to play guitar. Oh very much. Often, part of the practice process is to sit down and meticuously play the same small thing over and over again for hours. Nobody says “guitar fanboy” to me. Now what would happen if I were to paint Warhammer figurines instead ?

    I adore impressionist art. My dwelling is full of pictures by William Turner, Claude Monet etc. What’s the difference to an anime-fanboy who has wallpapers all over the place ?

    (b) yah, you’ve said it yourself “Wait, all I do these days is play Pokemon and read porn… OH SHIT.” It’d be a pretty narrow range of interest and I’d get burned out pretty fast; though who am I to talk, it’s not like -I- apply my obsessions/compulsions to any more valuable tasks either (making music instead of studying or busting my ass at a job, ganbatte!!)


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