I Give Up


Damn you, anime fandom, damn you to hell! You’ve finally ruined me, dragging me into the true pits of degeneracy! Was it not enough that you made it almost impossible to not see BL in EVERYTHING? Was it not enough that you made me into a 4ch addict? Was it not enough that I now actually watch hentai?


I give up. I have a raging crush on an anime character. The last time this happened, I was eleven years old, so I can very easily sweep that aside as being just symptomatic of my age. (I admired Ethan Frome when I was sixteen, I did not have a crush on him!) But a crush on an anime character when one is twenty-two? Seriously?! Dammit, fandom! You’ve seduced me to the dark side, brought me over to your dimly-lit caves of doom and 2D love…I am no longer fit for marriage! I demand that you take responsibility for it, fandom!

This officially renders my previous low (finding that people on crutches are a total turn-on) no longer my absolute low. At the rate I’m going, I will probably start dating a dakikamura within the next year. And then I will propose to it, and I won’t have any idea where to put the ring. Or how to tell my parents that their only daughter is pillowsexual.

As this is something that I would normally have just stuck on Twitter if I didn’t consider Twitter to be a further degradation of culture and intellectualism and therefore a true evil, I will now include other random bits that would’ve normally been a Twitter-thing:

  • for some reason no one seems nearly as excited as I am about the fact that I just changed my ringtone to Jigglypuff singing
  • I finally caaaaved and wrote a fanfic which I intend to dedicate to Caraniel for being my fellow loser Shiki BL fan
  • this also is the first time I’ve written a fanfic in a year and a half… at least this time it isn’t a Strawberry Panic fanfic
  • Maiden Rose is AWFUL
  • fucking legendary birds! fucking lack of infinite number of Master Balls cheat!
  • THIS
  • I’m baking cookies right now
  • did you know that the sun never sets on badass?
  • if you haven’t watched Tamayura yet, you are wrong; the first episode is a bit blah, but the second one is fantastic
  • speaking of Jigglypuff, I really wish they were real; wouldn’t it be so nice if you had one for when you were trying to fall asleep at night? you could hug it and have it sing you to sleep… it’d be so cuddly and it wouldn’t take so long to fall asleep! I just really want a Jigglypuff
  • everyone should just thank me now that I didn’t entitle this post ‘The Decay of the Fan’… anyone who gets the reference will now get a high-five


Don’t worry, it didn’t, I’m fine.


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35 Responses to I Give Up

  1. Sorrow-kun says:


    Ok, spill the beans. Who is it? Also:

    I am no longer fit for marriage! I demand that you take responsibility for it, fandom!


    • adaywithoutme says:

      Oh lord. Now not only am I another 2D complex loser, I have to marry you. I hope you’ll treat me right.

  2. Baka-Raptor says:


  3. glothelegend says:

    HAHAHAHAA crutches a turn on. I loveeeeee shit like this. Weird, completely random but not disgusting fetishes are awesome (provided you aren’t shoving the crutch up your-)

    I wonder if I’ve ever had a crush on a character? I don’t think so, although any character played by Rie Kugimiya is immediately a favorite (that’s a crush on Rie though, not her characters. Rie Tanaka is awesome too, I’d marry her….I guess if you’re named Rie).

    The anime girl I most closely had a crush on would maybe be Lucy Lui. She’s an anime character, right? God she’s hot. I’m in love with her and we’re getting married.

    • adaywithoutme says:

      I’m pretty sure most crutches wouldn’t fit into any orifices.

      Maybe you have a Rie fetish?

  4. ojisan says:

    So… his name?

    OK, I will give Tamayura a second chance & a second episode.
    And a great, great leadoff image, btw

    • adaywithoutme says:

      I know, I love that image! I wish I could say its mine, but it isn’t.

      Yes, definitely give Tamayura a second try. I thought the first episode dragged, but I felt obligated to check out the second episode (not sure why) and found it to be much, much more satisfying. It left me with that fuwa-fuwa kind of feeling.

      ‘Release the squee!’ kind of sounds like something that would be said on Invader Zim.

  5. Taka says:

    I had a huge ass crush on Ryoko from Tenchi Muyo back in the day. Haven’t had anything like that since though. I don’t think my man-crush on Gintoki counts.

    • adaywithoutme says:

      I consider Ryoko to be a very respectable crush to have; she’s pretty damn bad-ass. Mine was one a Digimon character *winces*

      Hmm… mancrushes… yeah, I don’t think its quite the same.

    • glothelegend says:

      It’s too bad I already married Ryoko years ago when I was 13 years old. We got married and are currently living together.

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  7. Scamp says:

    You know, maybe if you gave twitter a try…

    As far as denegration of intelligent conversation goes, twitter forces you to accurately convey your feelings in as few words as possible. It prevents the ease of babbling and causes you to expand your vocabulary and become generally better at conveying what you’re thinking.

    Well, that’s how I see it. There’s also those who use it to tell the world they’ve just gotten out of the shower. It is what you make of it. Give it a try?

    • VucubCaquix says:

      I’m with Scamp, you’d be surprised how many post ideas come out of the conversations that are had on the Twitter.

    • adaywithoutme says:

      I just feel like the “Just saw this rly cute puppy in the park! I JUST ❤ PUPPIES!" stuff far and outweighs the rest. And I'm also not completely convinced that the level of discourse Twitter can reach is quite the same as that of conversations not limited to 144 characters at a time.

      I would also note that even if it does rise to the occasion for some people, my issue with it on principal remains. Most people allow it to further infantilize their own discourse; a few scattered folks making it exceed the average does not save the whole thing carte-blanche. The original problem remains intact, as far as I’m concerned.

  8. kluxorious says:

    I wonder who did you have a crush on this time around. It sounds so severely romantic.

    Don’t worry, you’re not the only one the fandom has taken over. At least knowing that you’re not alone will make you feel a tad better?

  9. Caraniel says:

    “I finally caaaaved and wrote a fanfic which I intend to dedicate to Caraniel for being my fellow loser Shiki BL fan”

    My life, it is complete!

    • adaywithoutme says:

      Ok, well, your life may be complete, but apparently the fanfic wasn’t, since I just went back over it and devoted another… hour of my life to it. The damn thing has become a monster – the damn thing now clocks in at ten pages, 5300 words. WTF.

      Coming to a blog and a Fanfiction.net account near you! You can read it on your lunch break, ’cause, y’know, those computers in the offices of public bureaus are NEVER watched!

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  11. Mystlord says:

    1. Denial and Isolation.
    2. Anger.
    3. Bargaining.
    4. Depression.
    5. Acceptance. <- Congratulations you finally got here!


    Hey wait a second I'm still a relatively "normal" person. (Key word relatively)


  12. Caddy C says:

    Ethan Frome, eh? Good choice. Although I was always a Seldon girl, personally. That probably says something about both of our tastes in literary men, and I’m not going to think about what it is. 🙂

    • adaywithoutme says:

      I admired Ethan Frome because I viewed him as an eminently responsible man, sacrificing his own self for his duties. This was the sort of thing I thought was incredibly honorable when I was in high school. I still do to an extent, but I also see his predicament as being partially of his own making and can’t say I exactly aspire to being quite so honorable as Ethan Frome is any more.

  13. Shance says:


  14. Leah-san says:

    You are not the only one. Since TWO years, I have an (obviously) unrequited crush on Ishida Uryuu from Bleach. GOD WHY. WHY MUST HE BBE SO TSUNDERE AND AT THE SAME TIME DITZY AND HOT AND SMART AND MEGANE AND SPARKLY GAFHSMCVBCFJ;DNFAFHNDCBMAV79hq2

    So, who is it?
    TELL ME. kolkolkol

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