A Season for Sexing

You can bet your sweet ass that this is NSFW!

One of the things I love dearly about my blog is that I’ll have intelligent, decently thought out posts and then follow them almost immediately with absolute crap. It makes me so happy! Where else but the internet could I gas-bag about the Sex Noises of Akira Ishida and utilize ‘HNNNNNNGH’ as a legit form of communication? So, thank you, internet; you complete me.

Having said that, I’ve noticed something rather curious about this season – so many anime characters I’d be up for fucking! Generally, in any given season I am accustomed to finding either none or perhaps one anime character I’d be happy to welcome into my bed (or whom I would gleefully drag off to my bed like a modern-day Neolithic person who has hit someone attractive from another tribe over the head with a rock), but this has been a bumper crop season. For the summer season alone, I’ve got FOUR SIX. If you expand it to include those shows still running from the spring season, you can kick it up to seven (or even eight, depending on my mood). HOLY SHIT THAT’S A FULL TWELVEFOLD FOURTEENFOLD INCREASE!!! (I had to keep changing that as I remembered other HNNNGH-worthy individuals.)

So who are these saucy devils?

Name: Keiju Tabuki

Show: Mawaru Penguindrum

HNNNNGH Factor: FABULOUS MAX!

Comments: The moment Tabuki opened his mouth and Akira Ishida’s voice came out, it was HNNNNGH at first sight. Little wonder that amongst some (e.g. myself and Raphfail) Tabuki quickly became known simply as “Sexy sensei”. Tabuki is but a humble high school teacher, and the object of a stalkers crush, although OP suggests that he’s more sinister than appearances thus far would suggest. And of course he is! He’s voiced by Akira freaking Ishida! But, I digress – sensei, you can teach me anatomy aaaaaaany time. And I’d be happy to wear a sailor uniform, too, if that’s what you’d like. Slip your hand up my skirt… use that low, sexy voice…. hnnnnnnnnnnnngh

Name: Masako Natsume

Show: Mawaru Penguindrum

HNNNNGH Factor: panty dropping

Comments: This season brings around a Juri Arisugawa lookalike, something sure to make me swoon no matter what day of the week, my sixteen year old self still managing to inhabit a small corner of my mind. While Natsume has thus far seemed to demonstrate an inclination toward Psycho Lesbian-hood, she nevertheless maintains an air of grace about her which is hard to ignore. Little wonder that the presumably heterosexual model Asami couldn’t help but blush when Natsume caressed her cheek. I only wish I knew how old she was, because if it isn’t eighteen or older we are going to have a slight problem…

Name: Nezumi/”Eve”

Show: No. 6

HNNNNGH Factor: Situational

Comments; I was bip bopping along watching No. 6 all cheerful desu as can be when suddenly, a beautiful figure graced my scene, a young man named Nezumi playing the role of Ophelia in a rendition of Hamlet. Is that you, really? I’d never noticed how lovely your eyes looked… and yet now they gaze up with such emotion… Nezumi certainly does not strike my fancy at any other time, but as Ophelia? I’d princess carry him over the threshold and treat him so well, lay him down on my bed and carefully remove his clothes, being sure to hang them up so that pretty dress wouldn’t wrinkle. I’d be so gentle with him, yes I would~

Name: Ivan Karelin/Origami Cyclone

Show: Tiger & Bunny

HNNNNNGH Factor: SO MOE

Comments: SO MOE SO MOE SO MOE SO MOE. You can’t really tell by the picture, but Ivan is basically male moe personified. He’d fit in very well with the Oofuri cast. As such, I have a burning desire to fuck him so hard his bones rattle loudly enough to be heard from Shanghai. HNNNNNGH. I would make him cry. And it would be awesome. And he’d bruise his head from hitting it against the headboard so often and so hard. And I’d have his hands tied. HNNNNNNNNNNNGH.

Name: Ringo Tsukimiya

Show: Uta no Prince-sama MAJI LOVE 1000%

HNNNNNGH Sensei: do you teach private lessons?

Comments: Oh, beloved trap sensei, how you set my heart a-flutter. With your genkiness and your ability to make the other sensei flustered, how could I possibly pass you by? You remind me very vaguely of Sheryl Nome, but she did not strike my fancy; why the difference? Is it the display of effort your mere appearance has? It is much harder for a man to look so attractive as a woman than it is for a woman to, after all. And, sensei, you’re tough but fair, a quality I’ve always appreciated in my various instructors. If I were at Saotome Academy, surely I would’ve written you a love letter, even if I never did so with a teacher in real life! Would you permit me one impertinent question, sensei? What are your measurements? I’d love to wrap my hands around that delightfully narrow waist of yours, bringing you close to me. And, sensei, you could be on top if you’d like. In fact, I think I’d like that best, although holding down your pretty little wrists would be delightful as well. And your mischievous look on your face as you looked down at me… hnnnnngh

Name: Natsuki Shinomiya’s alter ego, Satsuki

Show: Uta no Prince-sama – MAJI LOVE 1000%

HNNNNGH Factor: drop the glasses!

Comments: As Natsuki, you are amusing yet sexually uninteresting. Drop the glasses and put on the angsty jerk mode, though, and I’m all set to make you scream. Or will you be making me scream? Details, details; the fact is, Natsuki shoots up the sexy scale once his other identity takes over, clearing the way for the dreams of fangirls and boys everywhere. Ren Masato may fancy himself a playboy, but I think we all know where the real ride is. Crank up the angsty broken mirrors and break out your electric guitar… if you know what I mean. You sure would be a wild ride, and I’d expect plenty of spankings and biting. And not just for me, of course. If there aren’t marks on you by morning, I’ll have been doing something wrong.

EDIT: I think it warrants mentioning that I still am totally 3D > 2D. I have a 3D waifu, of whom I am quite fond. So, don’t worry, waifu, I’m not gonna leave you for Sexy sensei.

….probably….