Not even SHINING SAOTOME could make this episode any less painful.
Well, the ship continues to sink, and fast, as the H.M.S. Prince-sama rapidly approaches the end of the line (might as well mix my metaphors, while I’m at it). All goodwill engendered by the cheerful ludicrousness of the first half of the show has completely evaporated, and it should come as no shock to readers to hear that I can barely muster any will to continue watching it to the conclusion. However, I must finish what I started… especially since no one else is covering this crap.
More time-sucking flashbacks ahoy, but, hey, this time they ran it through a filter! So I guess A-1 does have some of its budget left. Not that you would be able to tell by the off-model images of Fish Eyes
hallucinating dreaming her way through these flashbacks, hardcore angsting for sure. Count me disappointed that she wasn’t having sex dreams about her harem, though.
Trap-sensei and Suit-sensei reveal themselves to be epic, fucking morons – GASP they didn’t know that not/Hayato-sama WAS Hayato-sama! Good to know we’ve got the best minds at work with these kids… well, not that it matters, huh? Its not as if idols need to have any intelligence, after all.
Speaking of, the whole conceit of this school is pretty stupid, if you think of it. Its only a year-long, so right off the bat you couldn’t go to college after attending the damn school. However, even ignoring that, there is no evidence whatsoever that anything other than idol-related junk is taught. Sure, sure, its vocational… but contrast it with, say, the school in Yumeiro Patissiere (although, they learned regular academic stuff on top of pastry’ing there, so not a perfect comparison). Sure, maybe you don’t end up going on to be a top pastry chef… but there is a much larger market for those skills than for idol skills. If you’re a flop as an idol, what on earth do you do with that Saotome Academy education of yours, huh?
Anyway, blah blah blah, cat’s out of the bag. Cue everyone getting mad and/or sad. “But she chose the six of us!” Yells Wannabe Punk, wondering why Fish Eyes didn’t just go with Not/Hayato-sama since she knew who he was and was a fan. “Duh,” Replies the audience, “She could have a whole harem to fuck, why settle for just one of you?”
Meanwhile, his room-mate, Psycho Glasses, has apparently taken Ritalin or something, since the show never does what the game does, yet gives him the personality change anyway. Which is to say, in the games he basically merged his two personalities because of Fish Eyes’s help/love/whatever, but, uh, A-1 kind of left that crucial fact out, as his episode closed with everything up in the air still. Good job!
Argyle Sweater broods while staring at the back of Bill Clinton, and Bill Clinton broods and stares at the sky. Bill Clinton also is all cranky and wants to get rid of not/Hayato-sama. Clearly these two are still fighting their proxy war, ignoring that they actually want to fuck each other because its easier on their fragile souls to pretend that its all about Fish Eyes.
Blah blah, not/Hayato-sama has taken the worst cab service in the world, as somehow an entire day passes by after his night of traffic in the taxi. Also, clearly the most expensive taxi ride known to man. Might wanna use a different service next time, idiot. Then there’s a bunch of crying and angst, and there was some “HMM YURI” (I think this was where it was) as Cougar-Roomie totally attacks from the back on Fish Eyes. Also, she has some cleavage.
This was the point where I got distracted, basically, as I began looking for my chapstick. That found, I began to gallop this tiny brass pig I have across my keyboard, oinking along with it. I also considered taking a picture of my pretty stationery and using it as a background for my computer.
Suddenly, SHINING SAOTOME brings the crazy, and I focused in again. He announced that our boys are gonna be their own idol group! And guess what the name is? Starish! But with a star instead of the ‘a’. Cool name! He then steals a chair from a CLAMP manga and installs it in his office, and tells Fish Eyes to take a hike because he’s hiring a professional for our boy band. WOO, MORE UNNECESSARY ANGST!
Could I just start throwing penalty flags over this shit? Y’know, like how in football games (and, no, not that association football crap) will toss theirs and then say, sternly, “Personal foul – unnecessary roughness, number eight-five, offense. Fifteen yard penalty. Repeat first down.” Except instead of yards, the show would lose minutes off of its runtime.
No screencap because I just finally got my computer recovered from a massive fucking fleet of viruses and can’t be bothered anyway. Next episode, Fish Eyes beats out a professional for the job of writing the songs for Starish. Goody.