2011 Anime/Manga Threatdown

KILLING ANIME

While I am sure that some of you are familiar with the reference, if you are not, please refer to Jigoku Shoujo’s favorite search engine, Deegle, with terms ‘stephen colbert’ and ‘threatdown’.

Now that you are up to speed, the 2011 Anime/Manga Threatdown, in no particular order, despite the numbering:

1. Manglobe

ZOMG MANGLOBE MADE SAMURAI CHAMPLOO ONCE AND NOW THEY JUST MAKE HAREM SHIT ZOMGZOMGZOMG

2. Yamakan

He saved anime! By promising to leave it! But he’ll probably be back anyway!

3. Fractale

Six hundred something copies sold. If anime doesn’t sell, it’ll die! Dammit, Fractale!

4. Bill 156

While the Tokyo Metropolitan Ordinance Regarding the Healthy Development of Youths was voted in in late 2010, it went into effect in July of this past year. It is honestly difficult to gauge its effects or lack thereof on the industry thus far, as it hasn’t been in effect a terribly long time, and, well, most of us are not actually in Japan and so cannot directly observe what is going on on the ground. We do know that it put a serious dent in the Tokyo International Anime Fair in the booking stages, to the extent that revenue estimates were adjusted downwards by $1.3 million as groups signaled they were going to boycott the event and vendor spaces went unbooked, although that event was outright canceled due to the earthquake and tsunami in March.

So what does it mean? While I may not be able to say for certain, censorship has a chilling affect wherever it happens. Perhaps most worrisome, though, is that mobile phone companies are required under the bill to have filtering on the cellphones of anyone under the age of eighteen, and if a parent wants the filtering removed, they must petition the government. Really? Look, I’m not going to quibble with parental controls, since its the perogative of the parent, but these are governmental controls, and its absurd that a parent must beg the government if they wish to have the controls removed. Man, if there’d been filtering on the home computer when I was a kid, I probably wouldn’t’ve figured out what the hell sex was until I was sixteen!

5. Baby Princess

What the fuck was this shit?

6. Kyoto Animation

What the hell were you doing this year? Everyone else in the industry was actively trying to murder all our brain cells with shitty adaptations of shittier visual novels, and you were fidgeting around making boring comedies and movies about moeblobs who like tea. You’re supposed to remind us that, sometimes, visual novel adaptations can be awesome by bringing us the Little Busters TV series. You better watch the hell out, or we’re gonna get stuck with P.A. Works adapting that damn thing, and we all know what those bozos are like.

7. noitaminA

For a block that’s supposed to be reasonably intelligent, you sure are trying to render harm unto those of us who have more than two brain cells to rub together. Anohana, Fractale, [C] the Possibility of Whatever the Fuck it Was, GUILTY FUCKING CROWN… and next up is Black Rock Shooter. Thermae Romae better unexpectedly amazing, you jerks. And, no, Wandering Son and UN GO do not make up for all of it, even though they were fantastic.

GUILTY FUCKING CROWN

8. GUILTY FUCKING CROWN

Holy fucking shit, way to use a decent list of production names and a decent studio to blind people to the fact that the promo art screamed “THIS IS GONNA SUCK! JIGGLE-JIGGLE!” Just earlier I was mocking someone for thinking this was going to be good, and pointed out that the promo art said everything. Look, folks, it isn’t the presence of half-naked boobs all over the damn stuff that is necessarily the damning part… if you are looking at promo art, and the female character featured is sprawled backwards, making o-faces, and looking helpless, this is a pretty good indication that you are not going to get a quality product, and that that girl’s gonna have all the personality and force of will of your average jellyfish. Saying “tit-tastic” is just shorthand, since we know the likes of Faye Valentine are boobtacular in official art and yet isn’t a blushing dishrag with breasts. For fun, put pictures of Inori and Faye side-by-side, and spot the differences in how they’re positioned, their facial expressions, their body language, etc.

Happy New Year.