Superfortress Romanesque Samy: Missing 99 Review

Dat screencapping.

Can anyone honestly explain to me Fansub.tv’s approach to screencapping? I can only figure that they’ve got a program that takes random screenshots at even intervals, such that we end up with shots like the above. Unfortunately, I had to resort to them for my picture, as I watched Romanesque Samy and got a great screencap prior to my previous computer finally¬†giving up the ghost. And with the takedown of Megavideo, I don’t have the resources to quickly get a new screencap. Its really too bad, as the one I had captured the essence of Romanesque Samy, which is to say that it depicted a motorcycle busting through the door of a second-floor high school science lab as a girl got sucked through an interdimensional wormhole. OBVIOUSLY.

Romanesque Samy is one of those sad 80’s-era OAVs that is pretty bad, but not bad enough to be entertaining. The story makes little to no sense, and it is plagued by periods of utter dullness. And unlike other tales that are totally baffling in their construction and content (I’m looking at you, Fashion Lala!), it doesn’t quite run enough with its idiotic self to be entertaining. Its boring and fairly forgettable. In fact, the only reason I can write this review is that its largely based off of a draft I never got around to finishing.

Ok, so, the story. We open with bikers harassing people, and our titular heroine, Samy, somehow gets involved. Everyone is all fine and dandy in the immediate aftermath, but said bikers track down where she goes to school, and surround her after school one day. She flees into the school, and the bikers follow her (on bike!) upstairs, but she’s already gone into another dimension by then, and the bikers are all angry with their bikes in this science lab. Also, her (?) dog follows her into this dimension and so does some guy she knows (we never see him again).

In this dimension, it seems we are being treated to a very, very, very loose adaptation of Alice in Wonderland, as there’s this rabbit with a pocketwatch shrieking about being late. He’s a total asshole, and ends up leading Samy astray, although not before she meets an old woman. This old woman will later turn into a dragon. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT, PEOPLE.

Anyway, rabbit pretends to be sick because he’s bosom buddies with the local demons, and they want to kill Samy because they’re all “oishiiii human yummmm ii nioiiii desu”. They are all basically differently-shaped blobs; one of them looks like that purple monstrosity that McDonald’s has. But a fairy appears and, uh, I forget, somehow Samy gets out of it, and the demon lord is all madface at the jackass rabbit. Fenrir appears! Because why not? And the demon lord is all “She has great powers, we must kill her!”Because apparently there’s going to be a big war, and the demons want to win so that they are no longer stuck in the shadows and other shitty places. Blah blah blah, random stupid terminology, blah.

Oh, yeah, and the demons have a ship. Its big and flies through the air.

Oh, yeah, the old lady saves Samy by reminding the good demons that she’s their savior or something. It seems the old lady basically runs an orphanage-type program for good demons who were abused by people and need to heal their hearts and bodies. Or something.

The bad dudes show up, old lady turns into a dragon, but gets killed protecting Samy and the good demons, and Samy’s makes this “bwah?” face. But she gts away, and she falls into another part of the dimension, and transforms into this stupid pink costume and has different hair. She meets some dudes who she apparently fought as a comrade with once, but she doesn’t remember jack shit. Also, the dog falls into a crevice and presumably croaks. And there’s quality animation everywhere.

As tends to be the case, Samy is useless because she can’t remember anything, and these totemo handsomu guys have to protect her.

QUALITY

But then Samy awakens her powers or something, and the handsomu guys remark that they are meant by God (GOD, folks, GOD) to protect her, and that they will have to “voyage through this world and the next”.

But then! But then!

I’m sure you’re all on the edge of your seats in anticipation!

IT ALL LOOPS BACK TO THE BEGINNING

No, really. Samy’s back in the schoolyard, and clearly nothing ever happened. She doesn’t show any signs of being confused at her sudden re-appearance in the schoolyard. Also, the dog is back.

Now, this may all sound like a delightful mess, but, as I said, it just never goes far enough with it to bring it to the levels of absurdity necessary for it to have been so. We’ve got a rightfully silly title, an overly-convoluted plot, and enough stupidity to rip a chunk off the moon with its gravitational pull, but its just so boring. Its totally disappointing! This could’ve been epically terrible, but its merely bad. What a letdown. I would’ve been much better using my time on something quality like Cobra or Hanasakeru Seishounen. Laaaaaaaaaaaame.

So, no, I don’t recommend it. It isn’t bad enough. I watched it partway through my currently suspended quest to watch really obscure stuff most people haven’t even heard of (others I watched included the aforementioned Fashion Lala, Riri to Kaeru to Otouto, and Refrain Blue, among others) (ok, Refrain Blue was cheating, I’d seen it previously…), and it almost upended the whole quest, it was that mind-numbingly dull. If you have a hankering for 80s era OAVs, there are plenty of others that’ll satisfy much more. Don’t waste your time.

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4 Responses to Superfortress Romanesque Samy: Missing 99 Review

  1. Hums says:

    I want you to look at something. http://i.imgur.com/WwAib.jpg

    That is the VHS box for Missing 99, I watched this turd of an OVA based entirely around that art. That scene on the back? Not in the OVA. The art style? No where near the same. It was like renting crappy action movies at blockbuster all over again.

  2. Pingback: Spirituality in the Anime Blogosphere: iDOLM@STER Theology, Tamaki’s War Angels, and Hidamarimpermanent Sketch «

  3. Shinmaru says:

    Just commenting to emphasize that DAY IS RIGHT about this and SCAMP IS WRONG

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