The Fujoshi World Order

You can’t say you were never warned.

Hey there, anime fan. Or should I say, brotaku? By now you’ve surely seen the new line-up for summertime, what with being a real fan and all, and you’ve probably been feeling a bit confused – what’s with all these BL shows? And some of these look like reverse harem, maybe? Wait – is that another Kuroshitsuji anime??? What is going on here?

And… oh, shit, a second season of Free?!

Oh, poor peasant, welcome to the Fujoshi World Order.

Of course, its partly your own fault, you know. Don’t you remember last summer? Quite a few brave souls tried strenuously to raise the alarm about the impending otakpalypse, the misandrist earthquake that was heralded by the early rumble that was Free. But did you listen? Nope. And you were hardly alone in that, as here we sit now, facing down a summer of high school boyflesh and homoerotic moments interspliced with swimming, violence, demons, and “rock” music. Oh, you poor thing, where did all your imouto shows go?

But, hey, maybe you can find something to appreciate in the midst of terrors such as Love Stage and Shounen Hollywood. Girls and woman have been historically able to do so when faced down with endless harems and damsels-in-distress. Surely you can do that at least? Or will you be bested by giiiiirrrrrllllllsssss?

Oh, dear thing, take heart! This needn’t be the end after all – you can still join with the forces of good to loudly declaim against this terrible travesty! I know you’re still reeling a bit from the fact that your latest Pretty Cure isn’t quite good, and the next magical girl show down the pike is one that has a lot of female adult fans, which is super scary!, but stand tall! Think of your would-be compatriots, the noble boys who were so quick to sacrifice their own well-being to stand against the tide of speedos, shirtlessness, and wet boys that was Free. A lot of them are still there, having rebuilt their strength on a steady diet of Kyoukai no Kanata, Irregular at Magic High School, and Nisekoi, and they are just waiting to fight the good fight by day while they nourish their hearts and spirits by night to Akame ga Kill and Sword Art Online! I have faith in you! Stand up and declare your birthright!! YOU CAN DO IT, DON’T LET THOSE FUJOSHI SHUT YOU UP! GO, GO GO, IT’S THE MANLIEST THING TO DO!

Unless you want your anime future to look like this:

Is that really want you want, warriors? Is that really what you want? FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHTS!