At first, it seems great.
You love anime. Your honey loves anime. Wow! Your entire dinner conversations are taken up by discussing currently airing shows, you spend five hours of a roadtrip playing an anime association game (only stopping because you’ve arrived at your destination), and you fall asleep passionately debating whether allegedly feminist criticism of “bridge bunnies” is itself grounded partially in sexist ideas about male and female roles. You get to have wedding photos of you kiraboshi’ing because both of you actually know what that is. And, best of all, you’ve got someone to watch anime with!
But then the veneer starts to wear off a bit. One of you ruins a romantic moment by bursting out with “Nessa loves love!”, or ruins a passionate one by declaring, “Gattai!”. Both of you start humming the second Argevollen ED whenever you’re stripping. One of you gets annoyed because the other wants a Kirino bikini figure. It takes more than three hours to watch the second Mobile Suit Gundam movie after the first one. You argue frequently about the fact that each one of you thinks the other has shit taste in anime. One of you wakes the other one morning by leaping on top of them, shrieking, “Onii-chan! Onii-chan! Onii-chan! It’s time to wake up! Oniiiiii-chaaaaan!” That same one asks, “Will you be the Asuna to my Kirito?”. One of you must endure having your teeth brushed by the other.
But at least you get to watch some anime together.
NO. NO. THAT IS A TOTAL LIE – THAT IS THE WORST PART. Ugh, no, awful – because now you are stuck not getting to watch things for daaaays on end, because on Monday Weeblet has work in the evening and on Tuesday Weebko just doesn’t feel like watching Infinite Ryvius, and, holy shit, did we really just get cock-blocked by Aldnoah.Zero of all things? I don’t want to make love right now, I want a divorce because Death Parade bummed me out.
So, then, holy shit, it turns out that it was all a lie; being romantically involved with an anime loser like yourself is the worst, because now you never get to watch your shows, and you don’t even get laid, ugh!
But, really, it’s the not watching shows right when you want to that’s the worst! Or sitting here writing a post instead of watching the first episode of Zeta Gundam even though you’re a Gundam fan and have wanted to for years and your spouse shit-talks Tomino hardcore but has now decided that they want to watch it! Or you’re writing this post since you can’t watch the latest Yuri Bear Storm yet because, no, you will have to watch in Thursday when neither of you is working in the evening so that your husband can close the laptop afterward, turn to you, and ask if you if you miss women because you picked a dude.
And then, if they’re an anime blogger? EVEN WORSE. No, we can’t cuddle right now, I’m working on a post! No, I don’t want to kiss you, can’t you see I’m writing about Chara Soon?! And one of you is picking at the other, “Can’t your co-bloggers do this???”
But then there’s the terrible realization that if you are yourself writing a post to complain about it, you are part of the problem. Who started the whole humming Vivid Telepathy while aping the accompanying animation while stripping? It was me, Dayo.