Thanatos? Dude, been there, seen it, and the girls were much cuter.
/didn’t have boobs that could halt a freight train and/or double as jersey barriers.
Oh, and I figure I should warn that this really isn’t appropriate at all. Just so you know.
Twenty years ago, scientists found a big booby in space something in space, but the show still has to be all mysterious and up in your grill, so just some mysterious thing in space.
Jin wakes up in a bed, naked, and remembers that he was gang-raped knocked out by loli girl’s butler-thing after Toa pulled a bang and blame and ditched him so she could still be mysterious. He gets out of bed, and we see his ass, but because this is anime, he has no balls. He then challenges a video camera, demanding that he be let go, but loli girl comes in and tells him that he must now star in Breastonance Home Entertainment’s hentai line (but not before she comments on the fact that his dick is small).
Meanwhile, Kazuki is teaching his rapist dragon his name so he can scream it correctly during future tentacle rape scenes. Kazuki names his dragon ‘Gio’ because he’s too dumb to realize that the nametag said ‘G-10’.
Jin demands to know why he has to star in pornos for Breastonance Home Entertainment why he was kidnapped. The big boob in space is shown again, and apparently it is Pluto, as destroyed by the ambiguous ‘Thanatos’. Whatever – I want Angelique back. The organization that is holding Jin is ISDA.
Jin goes emo when they tell him that dragons from space destroyed the space shuttle ’cause his dad got blamed for it. But he’s up against the KGB a secretive governmental organization… so, yeah, have fun with that.
Blah blah, Jin, become our newest porn star a Dragonaut! Save the world. Etc.
Kazuki runs in and is thrilled to see Jin. They have hot hot sex on the floor and loli-girl records it for her own… pleasure later. Jin learns that his ass is basically owned by ISDA now, although god knows why they want an emo-face like him. The driver who tells him this has a pleasant voice. Kazuki reminds Jin of a promise they made to fly into space together and talks about having thought he’d never see Jin again after he dropped out of the Astronaut Academy, but Jin stares mopily out the window and the stage is set for Kazuki to become the most obnoxious character in the history of the universe.
Someone named Liner Cromwell talks with the captain thing at ISDA and expresses doubt about Jin. Blah, etc.
The worst background music ever cues as Jin mopes on his bed, and makes me want to stab myself in the eardrums. But he thinks of Toa and feels better because he got to see her titties. So he finds her and admits he doesn’t remember much about the day before and she smirks because that means he doesn’t remember her sodomizing him. Too bad neither of them know that loli girl is spying on them since she wants to recruit Toa for Breastonance Home Entertainment.
Jin and Toa get cozy, but before they can hot sex Toa realizes she’s being spied on the ISDA goes batshit. Kazuki wonders why Jin has betrayed them, even though Jin has been cranky to everyone in the ISDA and has shown zero signs of loyalty to them.
Toa and Jin drink Gonzo juice while on the run.
Kazuki reveals himself to be a religious fundamentalist crazy when he aims a gun at Jin and demands that he join ISDA, citing the fact that they are best friends (even though they haven’t seen each other in two years) and that they promised as children to go into space together. He then spreads his legs and asks Jin to be gentle.
But Toa saves him from certain rape death, and kisses him in what is initially one of the more awkward animated kisses I’ve ever seen.
Some guy who also tried to shoot Jin tells Kazuki he wants to shoot people when Kazuki asks him how he could shoot at Jin, and his dragon turns into a beast thing so Vampire Princess Miyu has to show up to kick some ass. The beast thing then becomes a mecha dragon and eats crazy guy.
Oh, guess what? The whole military secret thing? Yeah, mecha dragon just attacked a bunch of civilians, guess that’s done with.
Toa then turns into a mecha dragon, but not before telling Jin to close his eyes so he won’t see her naked. Wait, did someone say digivolve?
Impressions:
I am now seeing what the main issue with Emonaut is – 180 character changes, and just total lack of explanation for the way things happen. Case in point is the fact that Toa kisses Jin and Jin’s just cool with it – huh? Gonzo may’ve made it convincing in Romeo x Juliet, but here it is total fail on the convince me front.
However, Toa is pretty cool. The rest of this show might suck, but I’m liking Toa, since she kicks ass. Jin is still utterly useless, but I really don’t care because I like watching Toa be all debonair and saving him every three seconds. I’m sure this will get old very quickly, but for the time being it works just by dint of it not being the guy saving the girl every three seconds – sorry, folks, but a girl like me isn’t happy when girls aren’t pulling their own weight in shows.
Otherwise, though, the characters kind of suck. Kazuki has already become annoying, and I don’t think a lot of the other ones are named. I did like the woman who was driving the car with Kazuki and Jin in the back, though – she had a very pleasant voice.
Next time – Male nudity, skin-tight battle outfits.
GAR GAR Stegosaurus 